Wednesday, August 3, 2011
A question for Twilight fans?
Alright so vampires were inspired by Vladimir "The Impaler" Drakulya. And for good reason, he was a bad, bad man. He was literally the baddest @$$ in history. He liked to eat his dinner outside among a ring of impaled traitors. And do you know what impaling is? You take a giant spike and you stick up a dudes rectum and keep pushing it along his spine until you pierce the carotid artery and then you stick up somewhere with the corpse still on it, and they were alive for almost the whole thing if you did it right. So they are being sodomized and tortured while they were being killed. This man made lords who displeased him eat with him out in his impaling fields and if they really got him made he made them eat their own roasted children. He even hurt couriers and messengers that displeased him. One time some Muslim messengers from the Ottoman Empire came to him but they wouldn't take of their turbans in his presence, and Vlad being a devout Christian was very offended, so he had one of his guards nail the turbans to the messengers heads' and shipped their bodies back to Istanbul. Anyway, you get the point he is a bad @$$ mother f***er. So how do you think he would feel to find out that the legend he inspired had devolved into a poorly written story about emo vampires that sparkle in the daylight? And then that terrible story turned into a movie that is more or less porn for twelve year old girls? How would you feel if you were the baddest @$$ in history and your dire legend turned into this drivel?
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